Before I dive into my experience in beauty and skin care; it’s important to me to share my weight loss journey with you as it plays a huge role into how I ended up in the beauty industry.
Ever since I can remember I have always struggled with my weight. I was always the big girl, but strangely enough I was never treated unfairly by a lot of people (something that I am very grateful for) But I knew that there were always going to be limitations in my life in things that I can and cannot do.
My high school days were pretty awesome. I had amazing friends, incredible teachers that were positive influences. But there were times where certain situations would come up that I would be excluded because of my size. I couldn’t really figure out why I was as big as I was. I wasn’t eating unhealthy food, I was active (not as much as I should have but enough) even with all of that, I was getting bigger and me not knowing was stressing me out. While figuring out what I wanted to do after high school I was also trying to figure out why my body was acting the way it was.
My journey to trying to figure out what was wrong with my body lasted nearly ten years. My weight struggle gotten worse, in the span of ten years I had gained one hundred pounds. Within that time I had gradually lost my monthly cycle. When I lost it completely I felt like less of a woman. I was gaining weight and I had reached a point where I didn’t care so I stopped taking care of myself.
Years passed and I was still the big girl, the big girl who wasn’t really a girl. I had counted on both hands twice how many doctors I have seen trying to figure out what was wrong with my and my body. Nothing was helping, after countless doctor visits and money spent on medications I had given up. It wasn’t until my last ditch effort to see a reproductive endocrinologist and within two weeks, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Now that I had something to work with, I was slowly working my way to live with my new condition. With the decline of my self confidence and health I had hit rock bottom. I was nearly three hundred pounds, I was all alone and my health was at an all time low. It wasn’t until I went to Italy with my best friend that I had really realized how low I had gotten.
My trip to Italy was one that I will never forget. It was both amazing and depressing all at the same time. It was amazing because I was able to see and experience things that I never thought I would. It was depressing because I felt like I couldn’t keep up, I was constantly out of breath and felt like I was going to pass out. It was not a pleasant experience in that regard, I hated myself for not being able to follow through with everything that was happening around me. The biggest thing was climbing the stairs at St Peter’s Church in Vatican City. It was not a pleasant experience for me, I was winded, I couldn’t catch up and by the time I was up at the top I felt sick and couldn’t enjoy it. When I came back from the trip as happy as I was to have had the opportunity to see a beautiful country I was also very depressed that I couldn’t maximize the opportunity I was given to the fullest.
The real depressing part was actually my trip to Florida for a wedding. We decided as a group that we wanted to hit Disney World and Universal Studios which is always a good thing. The trip was fun but again I still felt like I couldn’t keep up. It wasn’t until we were in line for a roller coaster and when it was our turn when the worker said I couldn’t ride the roller coaster because I was too big. I was so embarrassed that I just ran off to the bathroom and cried my eyes out for nearly ten minutes. Even writing about it now makes me emotional. It was a rude awakening for me. I knew at that time I had hit rock bottom.
I knew that simple dieting, exercising and maintaining a healthy lifestyle was not enough for me. With having PCOS it was very hard for me to lose weight, if I wanted my cycle back on track I had to lose weight; it had become a vicious circle for me. I was already getting screened for diabetes and heart disease, it totally freaked me out. I needed something drastic and a tool to help me get to where I wanted to be health-wise. I had met up with a friend who had gone through a similar situation and she talked to me about the bariatric clinic, we discussed having gastric bypass surgery. I knew it was a big thing to do but I was wanting to move forward with it.
I went through the whole process and I was pleasantly surprised on how comfortable I felt. I wasn’t too fond of the dietician but everyone else was easy to deal with. The process was tedious but worth it. It wasn’t until I met with the surgeon that I truly felt that this was going to work for me. My family wasn’t very supportive at first, no one outside of my brother and sister and my parents knew I was going through with it. I knew that my parents were scared for me, my brother being a personal trainer wasn’t keen on the idea of it and my sister was on the same page as my parents. I knew I just needed one person to be on my side, that person was my sister. I brought my sister with me to my appointment with my surgeon; I told her that she could ask any questions and say anything she needed to say and she did. My surgeon was impressed with my sister and she with him. It was after our appointment that my sister turned to me and said ‘okay, I’m on board, let’s do this’
Even though I had my sister who was on my side, there was someone else who was a rock for me in the background which is my now sister-in-law, Kaitlyn. You will hear a lot about her, she is the bestest friend, sister and confidant anyone could ask for. She was in my corner throughout this whole process and she continues to be and I am forever grateful.
The day of my surgery was an interesting one, even as I was leaving the house my dad said to me ‘you know you don’t have to do this, you can stay home’ Needless to say I didn’t listen to him. It was actually my brother and his then girlfriend (now wife, my sister-in-law and best friend) who brought me to the hospital. I was so grateful that my brother was with me and was supportive, he stayed with me up until I was called into the operating room. The surgery lasted about four hours and I was in the hospital for three days. The recovery was a slow process but I was handling it well. My surgeon told me that if I listened to him and followed his exact regime I would be able to run up the stairs at St Peter’s. I listened to his advice and I was gradually losing the weight.
Fast forward to now, it’s been nearly six years since I’ve had my surgery and I feel great. Since I have been able to join a gym, eat better and actually be able to keep up with things. My family is so supportive now, I have been cleared of all health issues and now I am able experience new things like classes at the gym and go shopping without feeling depressed about it.
I am enjoying my life so much more now. I am able to keep up and I feel like I finally conquer the world.